Warning - this post doesn’t go in quite the amusing direction that it seems to be going in at the start…

I was watching a creepy episode of Inside Number 9 last night. Strange things were happening in the show, when suddenly there was a power cut in my house. My first, awed reaction - “How the hell did they do THAT?!?”

When I realized the two events were unconnected, I chuckled at my gullibility and went to the kitchen to light some candles. Mrs Shan joined me, while our daughter Gaia was asleep upstairs. (Our son Dante was staying with his grandparents.)

As we were lighting the candles, the lights began flashing on and off, and there was a strange crackling noise. My first thought was - Inside Number 9!!! But then I realized I was in fact facing a far more horrific situation. 

My fuse board had gone on fire. 

No joking. 

I screamed at Mrs Shan to go grab Gaia, get her out, and ring our electrician and 999, while I grabbed a fire extinguisher and went to spray the flames and hopefully snuff them out. And yes, I know that was dumb and I should have just got the hell out of there, but my brain had gone a bit haywire. 

Anyway, I sprayed the flames from afar, as carefully as I could, and they went out. Phew!!!

Then they flared up again, like those candles on birthday cakes that keep relighting. 

Funny on a cake. Absolutely terrifying on a fuse board. 

I went through three fire extinguishers, doing my best to control the spread of the fire while we waited for the fire brigade to arrive. (And yes, no argument, I should have just got the hell out.) Then I was out of ammo and had no choice but to retreat. 

My electrician and the fire brigade arrived much quicker than I’d feared, and they managed to cut the power to the house and properly extinguish the flames. In the end they were able to confine the worst of the damage to a few downstairs rooms, though there’s smoke damage throughout, and we probably won’t be able to live there again for several months while the mess gets sorted. 

So, that was MY start to the week! How was yours?!?